The Case of the Sketchy T-Shirt
You enjoy your leadership position and have been able to spend quality time with almost every person on your residence hall floor . There is one student in particular who hasn't seemed very interested in hanging out with you, but you've finally convinced them to attend an event you planned for Wednesday night about Bystander Intervention, regarding instances of sexual violence . When they show up, you notice they're wearing a sexually suggestive, and potentially offensive t-shirt .
You know the shirt is sexually suggestive, totally inappropriate for the event, and out of dress code, but if you tell them to go and change, they probably will not come back . It will be like starting to build that relationship all over again . Only this time, you think they will be even less likely to open up to you in the future .
> What would you do?
> How do you resolve the conflict between individual freedom and the needs of the community?
ReplyDeleteThat would be difficult, I'm not sure what I would do. I think I would try to explain that the shirt wasn't appropriate and I would ask them to change and if they got upset and didn't come back, I would tell myself that I don't need that person in my life.
That is another difficult decision, some people never do understand and some people don't care about the community. We do have freedom but some take that to far, no matter who you are you should adjust to the community around you, you don't have to be like everyone else but need to care about community and be involved.
I would tell that person that they need to go change their shirt. If they don't come back, then that's their own problem. But wearing a shirt that could potentially offend a lot of people would not be appropriate and if you let them go like that, you're just as guilty. That person needs to be aware that it's not right. If they don't listen, just let it go. Maybe they won't get upset, maybe they will. It's a risk you need to be willing to take.
ReplyDeleteIf the shirt is offensive then the shirt is offensive. You tell them to take it off and change. And if they don't come back then they don't come back. It's not like if one student showed up to school for a meeting about like the military and had a shirt going against the military. Would the teacher let is slide because it might ruin their relationship? Yeah maybe a past english teacher but. No. Yes freedom to wear what you want and to say what you want but if there is a dress code then there's a dress code. You should tell him that its offensive then how he reacts is on him. At least you tried.
ReplyDeleteThis is kind of tough because honestly I would say something to them because that's just one person. You need to do what's best for meeting and tell them they need to change. If they come back good, if they don't, it's not that big of a deal there's more people that can come.
ReplyDeleteI would resolve it by reminding myself that I can retrieve other people for it but you want a good reputation for your group. I would say the personal relationship isn't as important as the community look. Yaah knowww what I mean?
If the person doesn't care enough about you, or respect you enough to dress appropriately for an event that you specifically told them what it was all about, then obviously that person doesn't have the morals you need in a friend. stand up for what you (and the people in the event) deserve, and make him change or leave. If he gets mad, then he wasn't worth it anyway. I'd associate myself with people who respect what I believe in. And clearly that person doesn't, by showing up like that to an event that was obviously important to me.
ReplyDeleteI would tell him that he needs to change. If he doesn't come back then that doesn't matter you tried and didn't show the respect that you needed. He should show you respect since you were nice enough to invite him to thing and try to make friends with him. If i was that person I would at least talk to the person. Yeah you do have individual freedom, but know when to use it. Don't disrespect yourself by wearing a shirt that is the opposite of what the meeting is for especially if it disrespect to others. Just do the right thing...
ReplyDeleteI would say... Yo. Heres a shirt. Wear this instead of your current t shirt because youre not stupid and im not stupid. I know what your t shirt be sayin.and portraying and it could offend people here. Or you have to leave if you dont want to change. Your choice
ReplyDeleteI would tell them that the shirt was offensive and not appropriate i think it was good that she needed to show some leadership and figure it out.
ReplyDeleteI would tell them their shirt was not appropriate. Even if it ruined our friendship oh well. If they angry or whatever then they aren't a very good person and they aren't even worth your time. So you could just find some new friends or people hang around.
ReplyDeleteWell this would be a tough situation, but like my mother tells me, you can't save everyone. You would be hurting or offending more than one person if you didn't take care of that situation. I say risk it, if they support that kind of thing then they probably aren't someone you want as a friend anyway.
ReplyDelete